How children will react?

Divorce and separation have a very significant impact on children. Every family has their own set rules which are totally abolished once divorce is finalized and children are told about it. Children take their time to settle in the new foundations, rules and regulations of the house. Everything seems to leave its importance and children go under intense stress and anxiety.

Parents are not only worried about the divorce matter being put in front of their children but also on how would they react to this big distressing news. Having said so, it doesn’t mean that parents need to take a step back in dealing with the process. It means that they need to deal the situation more cautiously. Children may react to divorce of their parents in different ways and it is the responsibility of their parent to give time to the children and listen to their concerns.

• Under age of Five:

If a child is a toddler and under the age of five, he may react in a very different manner as compare to the children of older age. A five year old might show drastic downfall in academics, lack of concentration at play or being less friendly. He/she may go quiet or in complete isolation and most importantly undergo some psychological disorders. It is observed that children under 5 exhibit sorrow by staying in the backyard, picking up weeds or not leaving tree house etc.

• Above 5 and below 10:

Children who are above 5 and below 10 show agony in a bit dissimilar way. They like to break toys, yell at the belongings, get agitated and exhibit reactions by throwing away plates of food, etc. They are also persuaded by their gut feelings to break and then repair parts of toys. Your part in this mental state of kids is to let them take out their inner emotional frustration by yelling and shouting. However, you should take care of them if a child has gone extremely violent. You should stop him/her by cuddling or hugging him/her, showing your love for the child.

Also read:  Co-parenting after separation

• Teenagers:

Those children who are teenagers or have reached adolescence demonstrate extreme responses. They go through multiple emotions. At times, they go under severe depression in which they go quiet and prefer staying aloof, away from other, especially parents. Others choose to stay at their friend’s place. They tend to keep their emotions to themselves and show grief or frustration of not accepting what they have heard. They shout, go out to play and show its all okay with them. This action or rather reaction means they are not fine with the news and need time to understand the situation. The aggressive lot may yell at their parents for not doing good to them. Some teenagers can involve themselves into other negative activities. They try to portray that they don’t care for their parents and they are least bothered about the decisions of their parents.

• College Students:

Children falling in this group are less impulsive and more rational. But it doesn’t mean they are not affected at all. They are mature yet such decisions (of divorce and separation) put a bad influence in their lives too. In United Kingdom, the rate of leaving home after completing high school is quite high. Despite the fact, these young blokes like to come to home on vacations and want to see their parents together. When they don’t get to see their parents together, they become rude and harsh to the only parent with whom they have to live.

Parents who are ending up their relationship need to first take care of their children before taking care of their own emotions. They should stay around children to help them face this transitory phase of their lives. Children don’t grow up well when they see their parents fighting 24/7. For this, parents are always recommended to hire counsellors who could talk to the children with trust and empathetic approach.Toddlers, school going children, high school and college individuals have their own ways of reflecting anguish and pain caused by divorce of their parents. For parents, it is necessary to not only know what children have to say but also to help them get through the phase of adjustment. Snubbing children, not listening to them or punishing them for reacting in a particular manner will further aggravate the situation.

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