Dating after separation, how soon is too soon?

There comes a time, when meetings to find better people becomes a necessity and then we keep nothing in mind except to look for a new partner to keep the love life moving. However, there are few things you need to take care for, before started dating. Of course, there are no particular rules for dating after divorce. There are certain things that should be kept in mind.

  • Give healing process its time:

At times, when we get done by our partner or significant others, we tend to do things which we are not yet ready for. Although, there is a still a feeling of pain, agony and distress, we sometimes try to get out of this phase quickly. We fight our emotions, tears, judgments and we try our best to refrain from the thoughts of previous breakup. Divorce is a traumatic event in one’s life and it takes time to recover and get back to normal. So, it is always good to give healing process some time and don’t try too hard to get out of this phase quickly. Sometimes, in our quest to get over the divorce quickly, we try to find someone, which mostly ends up in another disaster which we aren’t prepared for.

  • Try to clean the mess first:

Before starting a new relationship, it is worthwhile to get out of the divorce turmoil first. As now you’re leaving alone or sharing household with someone, there may be extra burden of responsibilities on your shoulders. If you’ve kids, you need to take care of their needs first, as they will be feeling more disturbed after the separation. This is going to be the time when you might need to take care of things which never demanded your time. Therefore, it is important to settle everything and adjust yourself to the new environment, before starting a new relationship. This will help you to enjoy your new relationship, without any stress and tension.

Also read: What are the rights of unmarried couple

  • Are you ready for a new relationship?

When to start dating after divorce and how soon is too soon? This is a question that asked by many and many experts have answered it in different ways. The simple answer is, it varies from person to person. There is no fixed time or rule for when you should start dating, after divorce. Some people may find themselves ready after two months; other may take a year or two, before starting a new relationship. It all depends on the emotional state of your mind and how much you’re still emotionally connected with your ex. The key here is, don’t rush and experience the feelings associated with event of divorce.

  • Don’t date to prove a point:

Sometimes people are too emotionally attached with their ex, that it’s difficult for them to move on. They keep stalking their ex on Facebook and keep looking for answers and reasons. Also sometimes, people start dating or even get married to prove a point to their ex. If you’re dealing with such kind of situation, you need some time to get back to normal, as this will bring no good for you and your new partner. Take your time to focus on yourself and let everything that is related to your ex be unknown.

  • Seeing someone during divorce:

Seeing someone during divorce may not be a good idea, as it may affect the proceedings of divorce. The other partner may react very differently after knowing that his/her spouse has started dating someone and may consider this a main reason for the breakup. Children may also find it very harsh as they are already hurt and want to spend time with both of their parents. So, dating before divorce can lead to a series of serious issues. Divorce is an emotionally intense moment for both parties. Therefore, it is usually good to respect the feelings of the other partner and not to disclose this, if one partner is seeing someone.

  • Sail in one boat not two:

Don’t compare the new with the old. Every person is different and you should not expect from new one to replace the old one. Be careful about the relationship which is about to start. Comparing the new and old will not serve the purpose. Don’t expect the new to act like the old one. The relationship which you had with your ex will not be replaced by any new one.

Each failure of relationship brings some kind of consequences. Likewise, a divorce will bring a set of hardships which you have to deal with. Remember all the reasons for which you have taken divorce and try not to make the same old mistakes.

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